Behind the Scenes of
2. Just in Time
Dear Louise,
Here are my comments on your review.
Title: Yeah, I thought the title worked on several levels myself. And from several different people’s point of view. The UFO attack at HQ, the alien attack in the woods, HQ’s acceptance of Straker’s death, and the subsequent sure knowledge that he lives. And of course, the romantic note: Louise hearing that he loves her before she expires from ‘emotional excess’! *grin* It also tickled me no end to make a series using "in Time" in each title (like Nora Roberts does with her J.D. Robb "In Death" series.) So with this second story, I've established a pattern for future titles in the saga to follow. Woo-hoo!
Ch. 1: I made Ford a buddy for several reasons actually. One; he never gets a break in the series, and this makes a pleasant contrast, allowing me to explore what a cool person he is. As much as he ‘loved and feared’ Straker, this new regime has to be balm to his spirit! Two; I needed a foil for Jake to communicate with, and it will be some time before Alec is his old self again – if ever. And a long distance gaming buddy was a way for him to know someone well over the huge distance between their respective jobs. Of course, this story takes place approximately in 1985, long before online gaming, but I just took the liberty of shifting things a bit so that I had a believable connection between them. And three; Jake needs a friend, someone who doesn’t resent his intrusion into HQ. I didn’t want to have to show the hard-ass beneath the surface from the beginning, and I would have had to if Ford hadn’t been there for him.
The remark Jake makes about Straker forcing him to ‘step into his shoes’ was meant to convey several things at once. One; he didn’t want this job. As he remarks later, only a fool would (and there’s our contrast with Foster, whose ambition is to be commander!). Two; he knows he can’t live up to Straker, who was a unique and powerful leader whose shoes would be impossible to fill adequately. As well as being a workaholic, which Jake isn’t (at least on the surface.) And three; he knew Straker well enough to be angry at him for dumping this job on him. It’s important that the reader is made aware that these men were friends, especially since no one has ever heard of him before the saga begins.
The reference to the ‘dragon at the gate’ is for Dragon, of course! But it fits Miss Ealand perfectly. I’ve always seen her as a force to be reckoned with, and we know Straker relied on her to shield him from unwanted attention. So it was fun to make Jake terrified of her. I think Straker was as well – not terrified actually, but at least quite aware that his secretary was a fire-breathing dragon.
And Jake’s statement that he and Keith are like Ed and Alec at the end of the scene cements the friendship as the next generation of UFO leadership. A new dynamic has formed, involving younger members of SHADO who will carry things on into the future!
Once thing I learned from reading Georgette Heyer is that secondary characters’ feelings and motives are important, even if you only meet them once or twice. They add believability and depth to an otherwise 2-dimensional story. There were so many times that her secondary characters nearly stole the show from her leads by their unique take on the situation at hand or a glimpse of hilarity in their thoughts. So having the butler disapprove of Straker was loads of fun! And of course, he changes his tune later, even though we don’t see the results in this installment. It’ll be obvious in later stories.
I modeled Louise after Countess Regina Barthalomew from ST:TNG’s episode "Ship in a Bottle.’ She was a larger than life character that we only saw on that one episode, but she remains one of my favorite incidental characters in the series. So Louise (like Regina) is unconventional and finds life exciting, even though her childhood and life had to have been pretty grim because of the alien attacks. This dichotomy lets us know without saying anything that she’s a strong woman and forges her own destiny, in spite of any outward circumstances. No wonder Straker falls in love with her! *grin*
We have two instances in the story where people ask to be called by their first name. Once in this scene where Louise asks Straker to do so, and later when Ginny asks Jake in HQ if he would. I like to use mirrors like these to let the reader glimpse hidden dynamics in my stories. Just as Ed and Louise will be a pair, so too will Ginny and Jake. And Straker’s reaction to her request is typical for him -- uptight, trying to do the right thing, over-thinking the situation to the point of insanity! Yep, typical Straker!
We can see from this scene that he actually prefers this time period to his own, even though in many ways it is a harsher life for him – long razors, no status in society, no money or home to call his own. But it may be some time before he realizes that he doesn’t want to go home. His whole life has been duty, so it may take some time to get through that conditioning to what he truly wants for himself. I want to continue the series at least long enough for him to reach that point. I wonder how he’ll react when it hits him? Hmmm . . .
Ch. 2: Ending chapter 1 with his worry about the command team sets up the beginning of chapter 2 perfectly. Ginny is not happy with the new commander. I hope it’s obvious from her rant that it’s mostly resentment that he isn’t Straker that makes her think so poorly of him. Each of the command team will deal with their resentment in a different fashion, depending on their differing personalities. Her opinion of him is going to change almost without her realizing it, blossoming into love. And we see some hints of her thawing throughout this chapter. The fun part is that Jake ‘gets’ her from the start, and it’s obvious (or I hope it is!) that he’s already fallen for her.
The meeting should make it clear that the 2 commanders have very different styles of command. Where Straker isolated himself from his staff, using reports to keep tabs on them rather than direct communication, Jake likes people and wants their input as part of the team. Neither style is wrong -- but after 15 years of Straker, Jake is going to seem like a holiday for the HQ staff! And besides, it tickles me no end to see the subtle changes he’s making to HQ that Straker would hate! *grin*
Back at the Hall, Straker explains that the aliens are from his time, not hers. Hopefully this section clears up several questions that readers might have about the alien incursions at Devilsgate. And he evades her question about where the aliens come from. I thought this was a very Straker-ish move, trying to spare her the further horror of realizing that her world is not the center of the universe. Philosophically, men knew this in this era. However, in daily life, no one even considered that the stars might bring terrors they couldn’t handle.
Back at HQ, we have the command team briefing. Ginny gets emotional – and Jake puts her in her place. And we see that he’s aware by her outburst that she was in love with Straker. Poor Jake! This was a fun scene to write. I just sat back and let the characters play out their feelings and ideas – and enjoyed the ride! Jake is the most removed from the grief exhibited in this meeting, since he didn’t work with Straker on a daily basis. So he got to interject the humorous bits that lightened the air. (Where’s Waldo?, rampaging dinosaurs!) And we find out that there might be a way to get the commander back!
Ch. 3: Straker gets to ride again! For me, this one change in his circumstances demonstrates more than any other the freedom he has here that SHADO stole from him. We know from the first story that he loves to ride, but when does he ever do it? Very rarely, because of the demands of his job. So I intend to give him many opportunities to ride here. We get a glimpse in this scene of how Louise’s presence affects his view of the world he’s in. When he’s with her, it’s as though he’s in his own time – just dressed differently. And he enjoys telling her about some of the advances that have been made in the future. Straker being playful – sooo fun!
Then of course, back to business. My daughter said that the horror undertones of their scene at the pond were excellent – and very creepy! Yea! So glad it worked! Gothic horror novels were very much in vogue during this time period, so it’s been fun to add certain elements to my stories to make them sound a bit like the novels of the era. Just me – being tongue-in-cheek! And at the end of this scene, not only do we get to see Straker comforting her (always a plus!), but we get a glimpse of the hardships she has had to bear alone. Village children, dying at the hands of the devils.
Back at HQ, the aliens attack. I hope it’s noticeable right off that Jake doesn’t mind extraneous chatter during a crisis. He even applauds Lew for making a snide comment about the aliens. Again, a different style of command. More laid-back. More like comrades-in-arms. He’s not a leader separate from his men. He’s more like Henry V from Shakespeare’s play; among them – one of them. He’ll never be Straker, and in the end, the staff at HQ will love him because he doesn’t even try. He is just himself.
And the bit about Foster, deserting his post. Well, I told you the command team shows their resentment in differing ways. Paul’s is through his arrogant refusal to accept Jake’s command. Since they’re both around the same age, it’s possible to understand his anger. A little. But he’s too stupid and reckless to ever be given command; he just doesn’t see it. He thinks he’s ready.
The chapter winds down with Straker in his lumpy bed at the inn. If he’s smart, he’ll marry Louise and get to go back to the Hall! *grin* He’s settling even more into life in the Georgian era. No complaints. But yeah – there’s always the aliens, making things difficult. A reminder of why he’s still got a job to do.
Ch. 4: The chapter begins slowly – breakfast with Keith and cinnamon rolls. Then of course, the comment about the aliens getting desperate. The reader knows why Straker said that, but Jake doesn’t!
At the Hall, Straker comes in – taking command as though he’s back at HQ! I hope this scene shows how at ease he is with Louise, that he would forget decorum in her presence. It was also very funny to write! My daughter glared at me when I read her this scene, because she saw the references to herself in it. She’s brilliant in so many areas – but her math skills suck big time! Sound familiar? I thought it added another dimension to our intrepid Louise, making her even more adorable. And of course, she teaches him how a loving caretaker handles their accounting. My daughter particularly loved her response when Straker realizes how she takes care of her tenants. She said that her confusion and embarrassment was perfect and showed what a lovely woman she is. Nothing noblesse oblige about her – it’s just who she is!
And of course, Straker wants to turn to the military for help. But they’re as skeptical as he was! *grin* He’s not going to be able to handle this situation as though he were back at HQ. More and more he’s being distanced from SHADO and all that he did there.
The command team briefing is one of my favorite scenes in this story. Ginny is thawing toward Jake, and of course she’d jump at the chance to do something for Straker, even this ‘one last thing.’ But even though she’s happy to be doing it, she intends to make Jake pay up for her help. That’s Ginny!
The rest of the scene with Alec shows us clearly that his grief is the greatest – and has taken the highest toll. But Jake helps him just by getting him to talk about his friend. I loved the comment Alec made about tea (Never touch it.), because it’s a sly reminder that he’s a drinker. But he’s sober now. I thought the ending of the scene was wonderful, and since I was bawling as I wrote it, I was pretty sure it worked. *grin*
Back at the Hall, Louise is having a hard time. He’s right there – but out of reach. And we see from his initial reaction that he feels the same way about her. She understands him and his small ways of keeping her at a distance, as well as knowing that he’d work himself to death if she let him. She takes care of him, using logic to make him take a break. And of course, adds that he can also get serious work done while he’s having fun. Yeah. She’s got him pegged. My daughter absolutely loves their banter back and forth.
And the scene ends with a sizzle. Oooh, Straker! Such restraint!
On the hilltop, he doesn’t even think about the aliens, though. He thinks about Alec – and Louise. I really liked having him imagine Alec’s response to his predicament: go get the girl and damn the consequences! But Straker is thinking about how it would affect her life, her situation. Such a sweetie, really. But – ask her if she’d care!!! *grin* Would you care, Louise? I didn’t think so.
And the last line, where he considers for the first time that he might not want to go home.
Jake and the major talk, and it might take a minute to realize who they’re discussing. But sure enough, it’s our old friend Foster -- troublemaker and idiot. I’m glad you enjoyed this scene. I thought it was hilarious from start to finish! And yet – completely in character. I always hated in the series when Straker let Paul get away with being reckless. The most he ever did was slap him on the wrist, and sometimes his stupidity seriously endangered everyone (Psychobombs.) So yes. It was lovely to see him put in his place.
And kept there. *grin*
Ch. 5: The chapter starts off quickly, rushing us into danger. Straker always excels in a crisis, and this time is no different. Ed to the rescue!
Then we switch to Jake, who doesn’t want to have to give the speech. I don’t say a lot about his grief in the stories, but I hope from the few comments that I make, it’s obvious that it goes deep. Maybe I’m being too subtle. I don’t know. Is it obvious to you?
I just had to show Keith’s reaction to Jake leaving Foster in detention! He knows Straker wouldn’t have done that, and we see Jake from his POV here, and realize that the laid-back attitude is manufactured. Jake’s easy-going, because he won’t allow fools to be anywhere around him. (Hey, it works for me!)
And back to the rescue. Yeah, it’s a heartstopper when he finds you down. But – woo-hoo! You’re not the damsel in distress! You’re armed and dangerous! *grin* It was such a joy to write the aftermath when he checks her ribs and rides with her on the wagon. These two are just FUN together! And he’s a totally different man in her company than he’s ever been before. *romantic sigh*
And Ginny comes to the rescue in the present! She found the portrait – and it’s so much fun when she tells Jake why she’s sure it’s Straker! Once more, the reader knew things that he didn’t. And that’s always fun to do!
Back at the Hall, Louise wakes up – or does she? Ed in her bedroom? Could it be? I thought her reaction was hilarious – and so very believable. This was a very sweet scene to write. Straker’s reaction to the doctor and leeches. Her reaction to finding out he helped bind her up. And he finally tells her how he feels. (So romantic! So delicious!) And then she tells him she already knew. (She’s such a trip!) And of course, what we’ve all been waiting for over the course of both stories – he calls her by name! Swooning time now!
We see his restraint again – poor Louise! And she realizes that they’re not alone. *snicker* Hell, I wouldn’t have noticed either! I really had a good time writing their lines at the end of this scene. And him not telling her his name – because he liked how she called him ‘Mr. Straker’! He’s really relaxing, isn’t he? Becoming the fun man we only got glimpses of at SHADO.
And in the morning, more banter. I can’t even tell you all of Louise’s lines that I love from this story! She’s just so refreshingly open and ornery! But her playfulness is a bit of a mask as well, because under it all, she knows she can’t keep him. (Waaaah!) He’s so gentle with her at that point, and it’s a good place to end the story. For now.
Epilogue: I didn’t cry when I wrote this scene. But my daughter did when I read it to her. I wanted it to be clear that Jake wasn’t really keeping Foster away from his boss’ memorial, that there would have been ample opportunities for him to see the broadcast. It was Paul’s own arrogance and insubordination that Jake wanted to squash, not his feelings for the commander. And then the contrast between the HQ memorial and the Studio one – well. Enough said. I didn’t want to write an entire speech, so I stuck with the summation at the end. It was a subtle way to remind the reader of how hard the commander had always worked – and to show them that he deserved this ‘vacation’ he was on. And we see also another contrast between the 2 men; Jake is religious.
The pic of Straker with the rocket was perfect, as far as I’m concerned. Not only was Flash Gordon the popular comic hero during Straker’s youth, but the most often quoted line from the movie remake (one of my favorite camp movies) is where the hawk guy says, "Gordon’s alive?!" So once more, I’m being tongue-in-cheek, because even while they’re mourning him, the command team knows that Straker is still alive!
I’m glad the epilogue worked for you. I was a little concerned that it might get too smaltzy. But if both you and my beta tester approve, then I must have done it right. Yea! (Don’t think I didn’t notice that you had very little to say about your scenes with Ed. That must mean that you REALLY liked them! I’m glad to hear it.) *grin*
Love,
Denise
Here are my comments on your review.
Title: Yeah, I thought the title worked on several levels myself. And from several different people’s point of view. The UFO attack at HQ, the alien attack in the woods, HQ’s acceptance of Straker’s death, and the subsequent sure knowledge that he lives. And of course, the romantic note: Louise hearing that he loves her before she expires from ‘emotional excess’! *grin* It also tickled me no end to make a series using "in Time" in each title (like Nora Roberts does with her J.D. Robb "In Death" series.) So with this second story, I've established a pattern for future titles in the saga to follow. Woo-hoo!
Ch. 1: I made Ford a buddy for several reasons actually. One; he never gets a break in the series, and this makes a pleasant contrast, allowing me to explore what a cool person he is. As much as he ‘loved and feared’ Straker, this new regime has to be balm to his spirit! Two; I needed a foil for Jake to communicate with, and it will be some time before Alec is his old self again – if ever. And a long distance gaming buddy was a way for him to know someone well over the huge distance between their respective jobs. Of course, this story takes place approximately in 1985, long before online gaming, but I just took the liberty of shifting things a bit so that I had a believable connection between them. And three; Jake needs a friend, someone who doesn’t resent his intrusion into HQ. I didn’t want to have to show the hard-ass beneath the surface from the beginning, and I would have had to if Ford hadn’t been there for him.
The remark Jake makes about Straker forcing him to ‘step into his shoes’ was meant to convey several things at once. One; he didn’t want this job. As he remarks later, only a fool would (and there’s our contrast with Foster, whose ambition is to be commander!). Two; he knows he can’t live up to Straker, who was a unique and powerful leader whose shoes would be impossible to fill adequately. As well as being a workaholic, which Jake isn’t (at least on the surface.) And three; he knew Straker well enough to be angry at him for dumping this job on him. It’s important that the reader is made aware that these men were friends, especially since no one has ever heard of him before the saga begins.
The reference to the ‘dragon at the gate’ is for Dragon, of course! But it fits Miss Ealand perfectly. I’ve always seen her as a force to be reckoned with, and we know Straker relied on her to shield him from unwanted attention. So it was fun to make Jake terrified of her. I think Straker was as well – not terrified actually, but at least quite aware that his secretary was a fire-breathing dragon.
And Jake’s statement that he and Keith are like Ed and Alec at the end of the scene cements the friendship as the next generation of UFO leadership. A new dynamic has formed, involving younger members of SHADO who will carry things on into the future!
Once thing I learned from reading Georgette Heyer is that secondary characters’ feelings and motives are important, even if you only meet them once or twice. They add believability and depth to an otherwise 2-dimensional story. There were so many times that her secondary characters nearly stole the show from her leads by their unique take on the situation at hand or a glimpse of hilarity in their thoughts. So having the butler disapprove of Straker was loads of fun! And of course, he changes his tune later, even though we don’t see the results in this installment. It’ll be obvious in later stories.
I modeled Louise after Countess Regina Barthalomew from ST:TNG’s episode "Ship in a Bottle.’ She was a larger than life character that we only saw on that one episode, but she remains one of my favorite incidental characters in the series. So Louise (like Regina) is unconventional and finds life exciting, even though her childhood and life had to have been pretty grim because of the alien attacks. This dichotomy lets us know without saying anything that she’s a strong woman and forges her own destiny, in spite of any outward circumstances. No wonder Straker falls in love with her! *grin*
We have two instances in the story where people ask to be called by their first name. Once in this scene where Louise asks Straker to do so, and later when Ginny asks Jake in HQ if he would. I like to use mirrors like these to let the reader glimpse hidden dynamics in my stories. Just as Ed and Louise will be a pair, so too will Ginny and Jake. And Straker’s reaction to her request is typical for him -- uptight, trying to do the right thing, over-thinking the situation to the point of insanity! Yep, typical Straker!
We can see from this scene that he actually prefers this time period to his own, even though in many ways it is a harsher life for him – long razors, no status in society, no money or home to call his own. But it may be some time before he realizes that he doesn’t want to go home. His whole life has been duty, so it may take some time to get through that conditioning to what he truly wants for himself. I want to continue the series at least long enough for him to reach that point. I wonder how he’ll react when it hits him? Hmmm . . .
Ch. 2: Ending chapter 1 with his worry about the command team sets up the beginning of chapter 2 perfectly. Ginny is not happy with the new commander. I hope it’s obvious from her rant that it’s mostly resentment that he isn’t Straker that makes her think so poorly of him. Each of the command team will deal with their resentment in a different fashion, depending on their differing personalities. Her opinion of him is going to change almost without her realizing it, blossoming into love. And we see some hints of her thawing throughout this chapter. The fun part is that Jake ‘gets’ her from the start, and it’s obvious (or I hope it is!) that he’s already fallen for her.
The meeting should make it clear that the 2 commanders have very different styles of command. Where Straker isolated himself from his staff, using reports to keep tabs on them rather than direct communication, Jake likes people and wants their input as part of the team. Neither style is wrong -- but after 15 years of Straker, Jake is going to seem like a holiday for the HQ staff! And besides, it tickles me no end to see the subtle changes he’s making to HQ that Straker would hate! *grin*
Back at the Hall, Straker explains that the aliens are from his time, not hers. Hopefully this section clears up several questions that readers might have about the alien incursions at Devilsgate. And he evades her question about where the aliens come from. I thought this was a very Straker-ish move, trying to spare her the further horror of realizing that her world is not the center of the universe. Philosophically, men knew this in this era. However, in daily life, no one even considered that the stars might bring terrors they couldn’t handle.
Back at HQ, we have the command team briefing. Ginny gets emotional – and Jake puts her in her place. And we see that he’s aware by her outburst that she was in love with Straker. Poor Jake! This was a fun scene to write. I just sat back and let the characters play out their feelings and ideas – and enjoyed the ride! Jake is the most removed from the grief exhibited in this meeting, since he didn’t work with Straker on a daily basis. So he got to interject the humorous bits that lightened the air. (Where’s Waldo?, rampaging dinosaurs!) And we find out that there might be a way to get the commander back!
Ch. 3: Straker gets to ride again! For me, this one change in his circumstances demonstrates more than any other the freedom he has here that SHADO stole from him. We know from the first story that he loves to ride, but when does he ever do it? Very rarely, because of the demands of his job. So I intend to give him many opportunities to ride here. We get a glimpse in this scene of how Louise’s presence affects his view of the world he’s in. When he’s with her, it’s as though he’s in his own time – just dressed differently. And he enjoys telling her about some of the advances that have been made in the future. Straker being playful – sooo fun!
Then of course, back to business. My daughter said that the horror undertones of their scene at the pond were excellent – and very creepy! Yea! So glad it worked! Gothic horror novels were very much in vogue during this time period, so it’s been fun to add certain elements to my stories to make them sound a bit like the novels of the era. Just me – being tongue-in-cheek! And at the end of this scene, not only do we get to see Straker comforting her (always a plus!), but we get a glimpse of the hardships she has had to bear alone. Village children, dying at the hands of the devils.
Back at HQ, the aliens attack. I hope it’s noticeable right off that Jake doesn’t mind extraneous chatter during a crisis. He even applauds Lew for making a snide comment about the aliens. Again, a different style of command. More laid-back. More like comrades-in-arms. He’s not a leader separate from his men. He’s more like Henry V from Shakespeare’s play; among them – one of them. He’ll never be Straker, and in the end, the staff at HQ will love him because he doesn’t even try. He is just himself.
And the bit about Foster, deserting his post. Well, I told you the command team shows their resentment in differing ways. Paul’s is through his arrogant refusal to accept Jake’s command. Since they’re both around the same age, it’s possible to understand his anger. A little. But he’s too stupid and reckless to ever be given command; he just doesn’t see it. He thinks he’s ready.
The chapter winds down with Straker in his lumpy bed at the inn. If he’s smart, he’ll marry Louise and get to go back to the Hall! *grin* He’s settling even more into life in the Georgian era. No complaints. But yeah – there’s always the aliens, making things difficult. A reminder of why he’s still got a job to do.
Ch. 4: The chapter begins slowly – breakfast with Keith and cinnamon rolls. Then of course, the comment about the aliens getting desperate. The reader knows why Straker said that, but Jake doesn’t!
At the Hall, Straker comes in – taking command as though he’s back at HQ! I hope this scene shows how at ease he is with Louise, that he would forget decorum in her presence. It was also very funny to write! My daughter glared at me when I read her this scene, because she saw the references to herself in it. She’s brilliant in so many areas – but her math skills suck big time! Sound familiar? I thought it added another dimension to our intrepid Louise, making her even more adorable. And of course, she teaches him how a loving caretaker handles their accounting. My daughter particularly loved her response when Straker realizes how she takes care of her tenants. She said that her confusion and embarrassment was perfect and showed what a lovely woman she is. Nothing noblesse oblige about her – it’s just who she is!
And of course, Straker wants to turn to the military for help. But they’re as skeptical as he was! *grin* He’s not going to be able to handle this situation as though he were back at HQ. More and more he’s being distanced from SHADO and all that he did there.
The command team briefing is one of my favorite scenes in this story. Ginny is thawing toward Jake, and of course she’d jump at the chance to do something for Straker, even this ‘one last thing.’ But even though she’s happy to be doing it, she intends to make Jake pay up for her help. That’s Ginny!
The rest of the scene with Alec shows us clearly that his grief is the greatest – and has taken the highest toll. But Jake helps him just by getting him to talk about his friend. I loved the comment Alec made about tea (Never touch it.), because it’s a sly reminder that he’s a drinker. But he’s sober now. I thought the ending of the scene was wonderful, and since I was bawling as I wrote it, I was pretty sure it worked. *grin*
Back at the Hall, Louise is having a hard time. He’s right there – but out of reach. And we see from his initial reaction that he feels the same way about her. She understands him and his small ways of keeping her at a distance, as well as knowing that he’d work himself to death if she let him. She takes care of him, using logic to make him take a break. And of course, adds that he can also get serious work done while he’s having fun. Yeah. She’s got him pegged. My daughter absolutely loves their banter back and forth.
And the scene ends with a sizzle. Oooh, Straker! Such restraint!
On the hilltop, he doesn’t even think about the aliens, though. He thinks about Alec – and Louise. I really liked having him imagine Alec’s response to his predicament: go get the girl and damn the consequences! But Straker is thinking about how it would affect her life, her situation. Such a sweetie, really. But – ask her if she’d care!!! *grin* Would you care, Louise? I didn’t think so.
And the last line, where he considers for the first time that he might not want to go home.
Jake and the major talk, and it might take a minute to realize who they’re discussing. But sure enough, it’s our old friend Foster -- troublemaker and idiot. I’m glad you enjoyed this scene. I thought it was hilarious from start to finish! And yet – completely in character. I always hated in the series when Straker let Paul get away with being reckless. The most he ever did was slap him on the wrist, and sometimes his stupidity seriously endangered everyone (Psychobombs.) So yes. It was lovely to see him put in his place.
And kept there. *grin*
Ch. 5: The chapter starts off quickly, rushing us into danger. Straker always excels in a crisis, and this time is no different. Ed to the rescue!
Then we switch to Jake, who doesn’t want to have to give the speech. I don’t say a lot about his grief in the stories, but I hope from the few comments that I make, it’s obvious that it goes deep. Maybe I’m being too subtle. I don’t know. Is it obvious to you?
I just had to show Keith’s reaction to Jake leaving Foster in detention! He knows Straker wouldn’t have done that, and we see Jake from his POV here, and realize that the laid-back attitude is manufactured. Jake’s easy-going, because he won’t allow fools to be anywhere around him. (Hey, it works for me!)
And back to the rescue. Yeah, it’s a heartstopper when he finds you down. But – woo-hoo! You’re not the damsel in distress! You’re armed and dangerous! *grin* It was such a joy to write the aftermath when he checks her ribs and rides with her on the wagon. These two are just FUN together! And he’s a totally different man in her company than he’s ever been before. *romantic sigh*
And Ginny comes to the rescue in the present! She found the portrait – and it’s so much fun when she tells Jake why she’s sure it’s Straker! Once more, the reader knew things that he didn’t. And that’s always fun to do!
Back at the Hall, Louise wakes up – or does she? Ed in her bedroom? Could it be? I thought her reaction was hilarious – and so very believable. This was a very sweet scene to write. Straker’s reaction to the doctor and leeches. Her reaction to finding out he helped bind her up. And he finally tells her how he feels. (So romantic! So delicious!) And then she tells him she already knew. (She’s such a trip!) And of course, what we’ve all been waiting for over the course of both stories – he calls her by name! Swooning time now!
We see his restraint again – poor Louise! And she realizes that they’re not alone. *snicker* Hell, I wouldn’t have noticed either! I really had a good time writing their lines at the end of this scene. And him not telling her his name – because he liked how she called him ‘Mr. Straker’! He’s really relaxing, isn’t he? Becoming the fun man we only got glimpses of at SHADO.
And in the morning, more banter. I can’t even tell you all of Louise’s lines that I love from this story! She’s just so refreshingly open and ornery! But her playfulness is a bit of a mask as well, because under it all, she knows she can’t keep him. (Waaaah!) He’s so gentle with her at that point, and it’s a good place to end the story. For now.
Epilogue: I didn’t cry when I wrote this scene. But my daughter did when I read it to her. I wanted it to be clear that Jake wasn’t really keeping Foster away from his boss’ memorial, that there would have been ample opportunities for him to see the broadcast. It was Paul’s own arrogance and insubordination that Jake wanted to squash, not his feelings for the commander. And then the contrast between the HQ memorial and the Studio one – well. Enough said. I didn’t want to write an entire speech, so I stuck with the summation at the end. It was a subtle way to remind the reader of how hard the commander had always worked – and to show them that he deserved this ‘vacation’ he was on. And we see also another contrast between the 2 men; Jake is religious.
The pic of Straker with the rocket was perfect, as far as I’m concerned. Not only was Flash Gordon the popular comic hero during Straker’s youth, but the most often quoted line from the movie remake (one of my favorite camp movies) is where the hawk guy says, "Gordon’s alive?!" So once more, I’m being tongue-in-cheek, because even while they’re mourning him, the command team knows that Straker is still alive!
I’m glad the epilogue worked for you. I was a little concerned that it might get too smaltzy. But if both you and my beta tester approve, then I must have done it right. Yea! (Don’t think I didn’t notice that you had very little to say about your scenes with Ed. That must mean that you REALLY liked them! I’m glad to hear it.) *grin*
Love,
Denise